Pushing Daisies

‘Grandma?’

‘Yes?’

‘Are you there?’

‘Yes, of course I am here, who else do you think is talking, the Tooth Fairy?’

‘Okay, okay, grandma, don’t get all grumpy!’

‘Hahahaha! You can’t even take a bit of humour anymore? You’re the one getting old now…’

‘Grandma, this is serious…’

‘Okay, okay, so tell me, what’s going on? Shall I call your grandfather?’

‘Oh he’ll end up crushing his new cello on someone’s head if he finds out, so I’m not sure that’s the best idea…’

‘Well, you know how he is… a true karma deliverer, on one and the other side… Hahahaha! If he hits someone it’s because they deserve it…’

‘Ever since he got the cello, I’m more careful about letting him know what’s going on… it’s not that easy to explain, you know… one second someone is bullying you in school, and the next, a huge instrument comes out of the air and hits the bully and disappears back into thin air… Hahahaha!’

‘So are they bothering you again?’

‘No, this time it’s not those… Oh, I know what’s going on… times must have got mixed, what year is where you are?’

‘No year, dear… don’t you remember? From your last dream…?’

‘Hmmmm… not completely sure I remember that part. I do remember grandpa saying that in no way I should mention you guys are not… not...’

‘Pushing daisies?’

‘Yeah… but... I mean… you are dead… aren’t… you?’

‘No, of course not…’

‘But I was at the funeral!’

‘We are not dead; just on the other side, dear… oh, something must have got lost. I told your grandfather to not call you from that old phone… it always loses information.’

‘I really don’t understand a thing you’re talking about now…’

‘It doesn’t matter, darling… I’ll just have to talk to him and you’ll probably get another call soon… just next time, don’t hang up after a few seconds of silence…’

‘Oh?’

‘Don’t worry, you’ll find out… you’ll find out… But what’s happening on your side? Are those bullies bothering you again…?’

‘Grandma, it’s 2015… I’m no longer at school… I’m 30 now…’

‘Oh! Then I know what happened… we called you to the wrong year… Oh dear!’

‘Grandma, listen.’

‘Yes?’

‘There’s this guy at work, who saw grandpa’s picture in my wallet the other day, and he swears he’s seen him before… He’s 100% sure he saw him a few months ago when he was on a plane to Japan, and then he saw him again just a couple of weeks ago when he was in Hawaii on holidays…’

(Second part requested by reader)

‘That sounds a bit risky, my darling… I warned him to specifically NOT make himself visible…’

‘Well he warned ME not to talk to anyone about it, so why is he appearing everywhere and showing himself to random people…?’

‘He loves to play the cello in old abandoned places, and scare the heck out of random visitors… he always said he wanted to do that, and the only thing stopping him was… well, living among the living… Now he can sneak out whenever I get distracted looking at some star being born, or watching the souls migrating… I always wondered where he went.’

‘Grandma, this is not funny… it’s confusing everyone here!’

‘Okay, okay, I’ll call him now…’

‘Make sure it’s quick… I don’t have much time. Oh you know what? He even appeared in pictures from the past… he’s been travelling to the past to give himself messages.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Well, I took a look at my old school books and he’s there, among a group of people in a supermarket, he’s there. I don’t remember seeing him there before, when I was in school…’

‘Oh dear!’

‘Grandma please, ask him to call me soon!’

‘All right, as soon as I find him I’ll tell him to call you. Do you still have that old telephone we used to have for decoration in the old house…?’

‘The old beautiful one that didn’t work…?’

‘Yes, that one.’

‘Oops…’

‘What do you mean, oops? You’re not telling me you lost it!’

‘Dad sold it last year to pay bills…’

‘Now I see why you didn’t pick up…’

‘Wait, you’ve been calling to that telephone?’

‘Of course! Why do you think we got it just before we left?’

‘Now whoever bought that telephone must be scared to the bone every time it rings…’

‘Oh we used to have mysterious calls from it too… that’s how we learned about this place.’

‘You were talking to the other side????? REALLY???’

‘Well, we didn’t have that “accident” “by accident”...’

‘Oooooookay…’

‘You’ll see. I can’t say much more right now… Now try to track down that buyer and tell your father that grandpa is going to pull his ears the next time he sees him…’

Nieve Andrea, 2015