A lot has been said about the Ego, but really … what is this
entity? Some see a terrible monster who must be killed, and spend their life
trying to destroy it with all kinds of blows … or mantras, therapies... Others
have been taken over by it: a skilled magician who promises eternal happiness
in return for total submission … and of course never keeps his word. Others say
they finished their Ego centuries ago, but what they do not know is that it’s
hidden behind their own eyes; others can see it, but they cannot, and so the argument
starts.
The only truth, is that this “terrible” entity is part of each
and every one of us, and discarding it “in order to be free,” they stop living
their own lives, put on a fake mask, play a fake self, with which they
identify, and all this makes them believe that their decisions are truly their
own… But the false controller self, contrary to popular belief, can only exist
when the Ego occupies a place that is not its own.
Life is basically a play -in the good sense-, and every
existing being needs a “character” to be on stage. As a new entity that emerges
from the ONE, a drop of Light (the Essence), you need a solid shape to manifest
on this plane… so Creation can keep happening every instant… This particular
shape, and nothing else, is the natural Ego, or the EgoMindBody complex: a
complete tool, sophisticated indeed, but a tool after all, and therefore always
at the service of the real Self, or Consciousness. We should not give this
natural and healthy Ego, the wrong job in the work of Existence, knowing that
being a vehicle for the Drop of Light is what fulfils it, which will make them
both happy. To explain this more clearly, let’s just say if we tried to think
with our feet and walk with our brain, neither would benefit at all, and we
would die within seconds…
To see this in action, imagine a furious rider chasing his
horse around trying to kill it because it’s not well tamed, the horse is “too
heavy” and “confuses the rider.” Would that make sense? Now imagine another
rider whose horse became his boss, forcing the human to carry it on his back
day and night… now it is the rider who chases the carrot… sounds exhausting…
But there’s more: over there is another rider with glasses that only let him
see what is at the same level as his eyes, so that he can’t see the horse
underneath, and thus goes through life in permanent denial, believing that it
is he who walks and not the horse, while the animal is laughing at him and
making him go crazy…
(Of course, real horses are not at all traitors as a
spoiled ego would be, but rather the opposite, so I want to make it clear that
in this article I will use the horse as the traditional symbol of the human mind,
and not the animal itself… forgive me, horses…).
The world is actually full of these riders, and they all
suffer endlessly in ignorance: seeing the enemy where there is only a wonderful
tool and ally that the ONE gave them for their convenience…
Then suddenly, here comes a smiling rider on a horse without a bridle or a saddle,
not even trying to make the animal obey him, he just whispers to it… and his
steed does everything he says!
Other riders will look at him with envy, and so do their own
horses, snorting. Agitated, kicking and biting each other, they revolt at the
newcomer’s smile and the peaceful and confident look of his horse, who does not
understand why his peers are tied to the teeth, tortured, and at war with their
guides…
On the other hand, the smiling rider does understand -his
horse does not remember it now, since love washed away all the suffering of the
past, but long ago, he too fought with his horse, until someone put a mirror in
his way, and seeing himself as an ugly dictator, felt ashamed and changed his
attitude. He realized then that the horse was an almost divine gift, and started
to feel grateful. He apologized to his horse, took all the ties and straps away
and healed its wounds. He led the horse into a meadow, gave him water, and when
he was calmer, he went over to him, face to face, no tricks, no gimmicks. At
first the horse tried to bite him, and kicked the air and ran away, looking
askance and neighing nervously. The rider then sighed, day after day going back
to his job in a corner of the meadow.
He began to bring candy and left it close by, sometimes the
horse came to eat it, but when he rider stretched out his hand to touch him,
the horse galloped away, snorting. Everything seemed to point that he would
never mount his steed again. Now it seemed like the animal trusted him even
less than before. However, that had not been real trust, the horse had been
enduring the torture out of fear of starvation and predators.
But now the horse was in a meadow, lounging, eating
everything he wanted, with no danger in sight, not planning to leave its own
paradise anytime soon. At times, the rider regretted having left the horse
free, because he thought he could not get it back. Once he was about to abandon
it there and leave, but something stopped him, saying, “How will you survive
without a horse, in a world where everyone has one? You will be a complete
stranger, will not understand anything, and eventually die from isolation… and
the same will happen to your horse, which will be left all alone after all…“.
So the rider cultivated his patience and devotion, and
waited for days, months, almost years, to gain his horse’s trust and affection,
until one day, the horse kneeled down to let the rider climb on its back,
letting him know that they were ONE. Excited, the rider mounted on his back, feeling
the same unity. There was a very special connection in that moment: since there
was no barrier between them -no saddle, no spur-, they became one same entity…
something that almost resembled a centaur, and yet you could still clearly distinguish
what was what. The horse, who had seen itself, gave command back to the rider -the
Drop of Light-, who could see better from the heights, and the rider, who had
also found his place, surrendered the earthly energy to the horse, who ruled on
the ground beneath his hooves. Only when the Drop of Light went to visit the realms
of the ONE, the horse would wait nearby, while his rider walked on terrains
only accessible to a different kind of feet…
In the equestrian world, there’s a new school of thought, involving
ways to taming horses without pain or fear.
(No taming is fair, since all animals should live free and not to serve humans
(or be devoured by them), but this method at least allows humans who want to
befriend a horse, to become real friends with the horse, and not a dictator on its
back).
This taming is based on understanding the psychology of the
animal, its reactions, its language, to “speak horse”. Waiting for the horse to
approach you, rather than chasing it, and making it see that you are not a
predator but one of their own (I think it will work better if the human trainer
is really a non-predator, aka 100% vegetarian…). The technique incorporates
some massage points to completely relax the horse, so they end up lying down,
and the “trainer” can even lie down on top of them. At the end of the process,
the horse trusts humans, and is open to new directions. Trainers usually begin
to ride them right away, teaching them “walk, trot, canter, gallop” with voice
signals, never with spurs or whips.
A fully trusting horse is a powerful ally, never an enemy.
This system inspires more than a simple “less cruel” technique of
domestication; it’s the perfect metaphor for learning to tame our own “horse”,
our EgoMindBody complex… but mainly the Ego, which then will direct the Mind;
and the Body will then do whatever the Mind orders… If you try to control the
Mind, the Ego will reclaim its place… and so will the Mind, if we do not give
it its rightful place leading the Body, and will play tricks on us if we try to
get in the way… So the work of the Drop of Light (us riders) must always be on
the Ego, so to speak, “the horse’s soul.” Once we make peace with it sincerely,
all the pieces of the “Human Being” complex will fall into place and there
shall be no betrayals by any of the parts involved.
Long story short, killing your ego is neither possible nor
advisable, and the only problem there is with it, is that the roles are
confused. Those who say they have no ego, usually control their horse with
painful spurs, saddle and a bridle made of thorns. They keep their horse so submitted,
denied, falsely “controlled”, that while tension and pain are still there, the
horse does not deviate one inch, and the riders believe it never will. But abuse
only generates anger, and it builds up until, “unexpectedly,” that “saint”,
that “heavenly being”, is triggered by something, loses the control he never
had, and his horse goes wild. And of course, this won’t an ordinary horse tantrum,
but one full of bitterness and hatred… completely out of control, and difficult
to repair.
It is time to realize that each of us is a whole unit and,
for this complex collective being to work, all parts should be in place: the
force, Consciousness, the Essence (that Drop of Light)… In the same way, all
living things are part of another much larger unit, but basically identical.
So, each of us as individuals, must find our place in it too… Is it not worth
it to reflect this in our daily lives? Do not forget that we living beings are
the connection between the ONE and Mother Gaia, and when we harmonize horse and
rider within us, we generate the stream of Life.
Finally, and going back to our equine brothers, who are also
drops of Light with their own vehicle, and with the same desire for freedom and
happiness as everyone else, I will say that our own EgoMindBodies are the only horse
we should tame and ride…
Nieve Andrea, Dec 21st 2009
